Trusting Thursday- New thinking

My husband and I had the opportunity this last weekend to attend a marriage workshop that truly blessed us with life-changing knowledge and tools. Our thoughts were illuminated to allow us to discern the why behind so many of our behaviors and reactions. Events the speakers shared from their own lives and how the atmosphere and experiences of their childhood shaped their beliefs about themselves influenced me to examine my life and think of the why behind my go-to reactions in times of stress. My childhood provided me with love, care and attention from both my parents and I am very grateful to have experienced a loving family and for parents who sought to instill in us wonderful values. Yet certain interactions, usually innocent on the parents' part, can imprint in children errors in thinking that will often follow them through their whole life.

One exercise we had to do was to identify our "buttons" or the emotions we experience during conflict. Some of the emotions I often feel during times of stress or conflict are a sense of failure and inadequacy. These emotions paralyze me with a feeling of overwhelm that is hard to shake. Everything I set on my list to accomplish seems like an insurmountable obstacle and I often feel like giving up and admitting defeat. Why is that? Why is it that others, such as my husband, don't struggle with those feelings and seem to be able to power through hard circumstances like a freight train?

A particular event comes to mind, as a likely trigger for this weakness in my thinking. At the age of 5, I asked my father, who was a gifted musician and pianist, to please teach me piano. My father did many wonderful things for me and my siblings and I will ever be grateful to have had him for my earthly father, but as we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, we also mess up in countless ways as parents. I remember him trying to show me a simple thing on the piano, how to hold my hands on the keys a certain way, and obviously he didn't think I was getting it.....he sent me to the kitchen to get an apple. That was a good idea, he wanted to show me how to hold my hands on the piano as if I had something round under them. Well, suffice it to say, I wasn't showing a fast enough skill development, and he told me, impatient, to forget about it. That was the end of my music career. You see, my father believed that you were either born with a natural talent for music or you weren't, and if you weren't born with it as he thought was my case, you might as well not bother trying!

That type of all or nothing philosophy is the enemy of progress and excellence, for we must not grow weary in well-doing if we want to read in due season, according to Galatians 6:9. Perseverance and determination are the keys to success. Let us remember the words of Thomas Edison, "I have not failed, not once. I've discovered ten thousand ways that don't work." Shinichi Suzuki, the founder of the world renowned Suzuki method for teaching music believed that any child, given the right nurturing teaching environment, can develop great ability at almost anything! So, to come back to my story, this episode with my dad caused me to develop a thought construct that stated, "If something doesn't come to you easily from the get-go, don't bother trying, you're a failure at it!" You can imagine how destructive this type of thinking is to healthy relationships, marriage, parenting or one's ability to reach their goals.

Thankfully, the story doesn't end there. Most amazingly, at the age of 20, I had the blessed opportunity to come in contact with the true God of the Bible, and this life-altering encounter was the beginning of a healing process in my life, that I believe will continue until the day I die. God is in the business of Truth and restoration and His word declares "And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" John 8:32. Here is where I want to share the wonderful creative healing power of the word of God. God is able through His word and our choice to dwell upon it, to dissolve our wrong thinking and recreate in our minds a right way to think and approach life. One of my favorite passages is Romans 12:2, where Paul exhorts us not to be conformed to this world, but rather to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, that we might prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. I can share with you from experience, that dwelling in God's creative words combined with the right action of our will, will enable you to overcome wrong patterns in your thinking. Later in the same chapter, Romans 12:21 tells us not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good. Therefore, once we recognize and accept our evil thinking, we need to replace it with the truth! Find the promises in the Bible that relates to the opposite of your wrong patterns of thinking, write down the verses and put them to memory and when tempted with the diseased thought, attack it with the word of God! I am working on that in my own life. As I am assailed by thoughts of failure and inadequacy, I like to remind myself that God has promised me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). In Revelation 21:8, Jesus assures us "Behold, I make all things new, and he said unto me, write: for these words are true and faithful." Thank God that He is able.

- Sacha LeClaire